To the unfamiliar, it appears to be just like any other German town – home to 300,000 inhabitants and a Bundesliga football team; one can be forgiven for letting the city of Bielefeld slip one's mind. Donot, however, let the quaint German architecture fool you, for behind this façade lies a shattering conspiracy – one still in constant circulation throughout German media – that this city, alas, does not exist.
Our story begins in 1993 at the University of Kiel, where an unsuspecting computer science student was approached by a colleague at a student party, claiming herself to be from the city of Bielefeld. Not having heard of this place, the friend simply replied: "Das gibt's doch gar nicht" – meaning quite literally, "that can't be real".
A year later, upon relating this amusing encounter to a friend (and fellow computer science student) Achim Held, the two were struck with sudden inspiration – rushing to the nearest computer, the two would post this story onto the newsgroup "de.talk.bizzare", under the guise of a new "conspiracy theory" - jokingly referring to how they believed that Bielefeld does not and, perhaps, could not exist. Unbeknownst to these two, this would mark the start of a decade-long conspiracy – one that would not only infiltrate all areas of German media, but incessantly linger in the minds of all Germans in years to come.
Much akin to the German approach to all things in life, this conspiracy is not one without logic orreasoning – indeed, believers of this theory are guided by three distinct questions – 1) Do you know anybody from Bielefeld? 2) Have you ever been to Bielefeld? And 3) Do you know anybody who has ever been to Bielefeld?
Naturally, a vast majority would be expected to say "no" to these questions, and those who do say yes to any one of these queries are promptly disregarded as being part of the conspiracy themselves, or, perhaps worse, are themselves being deceived by it. A photo? CGI. People? Indoctrinated fools. News? The work of a particularly clever cover-up artist. There – if that isn’t incontrovertible evidence and reasoning, I don’t know what is.
Naturally, such an exhilarating controversy never fails to stir one's imagination. Throughout the years have there been many attempts to explain why certain mysterious individuals (the CIA and even aliens included) would take such great lengths to conceal Bielefeld, with each report seemingly more ridiculous than the last.
One such theory points to the work of the CIA – how Bielefeld was supposedly an ancient tunnel which ran from the United States to Australia via the submerged city of Atlantis. Another points to the presence of extra-terrestrials – how the "University of Bielefeld" may be a clever guise for their spaceship (I must admit, based on pictures alone they may be onto something...). My undeniable favourite is the one claiming Bielefeld lies above the habitation of a sleeping dragon protected by ancient knights. In the midst of all these groundbreaking theories, it should not, perhaps, come as a surprise that Germany's drug policies are amongst the most lenient in the EU.
Yet is there a moral to this tantalising story? Does it point to humanity's desire for an explanation to life's greatest phenomena, a testimony to the contagious nature of speculation amongst people and society in general? Or, perhaps, is it merely a bad joke - one, by some means or another, which has managed to captivate the eye of Germans across the two decades, including the likes of Angela Merkel herself? Even the city of Bielefeld itself has joined in on the fun, offering a 1 million Euro prize for anyone who can definitively prove, with "incontrovertible evidence", that the city does not exist. Who knows? With the imaginative minds of today, you may just find yourself revealing the ultimate mystery of German media – and, indeed, a million Euros richer.
